Jeremiah 29:11-14
For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans for your welfare and not for woe so as to give you a future and a hope. When you call me, when you come to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, and I will change your lot. I will gather you together from all the nations and from all the places to which I've banished you. I will bring you back from the place to which I've exiled you.
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Do I not trust myself to God?
I Do...I DO....I just hadn’t thought of it as a Blank Check. Hmm. Money feels more concrete.
Giving over my life is vague and abstract.
But a blank check could mean loosing all my money. And then I realize that MONEY Represents the Illusion of Security and Control. THAT is specific! And therefore, giving it over to God is so much more effective!
So yes, God! For You. A blank check...my life, ENTIRE.
Day 1 - I loved the phrase of "beginning with the incarnation. Beginning with the Trinity's decision for Jesus to be born."
Sammy. Loved the picture of Sammy.
My dog Scruffy was the same way. We sat together. As I petted him and told him what a good dog he was I felt a parallel, that I was Scruff and God was me.
Day 2 - He blessed. Twice. The fish and birds and mankind.
I wonder if wolves or bears or egrets tell creation stories and if they are the pinnacle of creation in their story.
Walking in the breezy part of the day.
"I was afraid because I was naked." Hah. Is that what makes me afraid? Being seen, entirely. Uncovered.
What was it like when Adam and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame. When it was okay, unthreatening, without fear of judgment. Brene Brown - the difference between thinking we are bad (shame) vs we do bad things (guilt). When there was no shame because there wasn't anyone saying, "You're bad or worthless or not enough." There was a time when those thoughts didn't exist.
Day 3 - The things that the hardest times bring.
To be a better person. Not what others may deem better by looking from the outside, but feeling better - more healed, more at peace, more grateful, more....
I think I struggle between independence and relationship, between uniqueness and enmeshment. Purpose for me is always framed in relationship with others. I'm not sure I can conceive a purpose outside of serving others and giving myself to them.
But God right now is saying to me: Have you ever considered that your purpose might be apart from others and apart from service? Could it be possible that the purpose I have for you is to just be you - you to be enjoyed by me? Purpose does not have to be utilitarian.
Hmmmm. I'm going to have to think on this. I'm going to have to practice slipping into this other dimension and sit there for awhile, see how it feels.
Sammy and Smokey. Max and Molly. My friends, you help me settle into God's lap.
My sense of God’s plan is to continue to play a servant leader role - to engage and enable others to live out their vocation.
I am seeking him more now.
I am listening for future that God has for me.
Where does God want me to be / to position myself for the future that he has for me.
I am wondering whether God is calling me to something different than my current calling.
When I see an opportunity for a different calling, some event occurs that strongly suggests now is not the time.
So I stand where I am - living in the present moment and occasionally looking for new opportunities coming over the horizon.
These verses also speak to the coming together of community.
I miss the sense of Christian community of my younger years.
I long for God to gather us together and bring us back from our current place to a place of greater community.